does this first paragraph sound alright?

Question

its not the best, and im rushing it but does it sound all right so far...

Overhead the sky was a sea of blue, the wispy foam clouds scudding like waves across the shore. As the bright sun washed over the ground, Katie sat between the shading trees glancing up at the sky.
She did this often, it was her place.
It was almost evening, however everything was still as light and as fresh as morning, Katie looked at one particular cloud, it was moving slowly across the sky, drifting away to an unknown place.

don't be mean

Answer 1

*GASPS* I just posted a question asking for reviews for my story and the main character's name is Katie too...kinda creepy actually.



Anyway, back to you story. I think its pretty good for a first paragraph. Descriptive. But I don't get the 'Overhead the sky was a sea of blue...' shouldn't it be 'The sky overhead was a sea of blue...' just my suggestion of course. Yep, its alright.



Wanna see my Katie story? lol



https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20080901040136AA2EP34



Good luck with your writing. Feel free to email me if you need any help or critique (even though I'm an aspiring writer myself).

Answer 2

It's fine and it sounds as if you are writing fluently and know where you are going.

It's a fact that a lot of books start off like yours and describe a scene before placing a character in it; but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a cliche - it's just a good way to start.

Many famous authors have started in that way, a very quick trawl through my bookshelves reveals Aldous Huxley, John Steinbeck and Ernest Hemingway to name but three!

You are doing well; press on!

Answer 3

Its perhaps the opening paragraph of a million books already. I dont want to be mean or rude, but I must be honest, if I am to speak anything. Opening paragraphs deining the scenery (and more particularly the sky) are extremely popular. Then comes another cliche of introducing the character , which being a girl is all the more cliched.



Open your book in some other way.



Best of Luck!!

TW K

Answer 4

It's great. Just keep going.

Do you like to write?



Just go in a comfortable place, but not too comfortable, and just write. Everyone can write but it's no everyone who's a writer.

Answer 5

i like it

its good keep going!