anonymous
2013-06-02 08:36:05 UTC
Have you ever wondered what you would do in certain situations. What would you do if there was a zombie apocalypse - run or give up? What would you do if your favourite actor/band/singer/celebrity walked in the room? - faint probably. What would you do if you got told you had a terminal illness?
Well that's what happened to me. I got told that I had a terminal illness. So I started to think "what now?" , "what do I do?" , "what have I done to deserve this?"
All these questions run through your head and you can't think straight. It feels like your world is collapsing around you. You knew this happened to people but you never thought you'd be one of them. I will always remember the day the doctor told me I was going to die:
I had gotten called out of school to go to the doctors and my mum and dad had got called out of work. None of us knew why, they just said it was urgent. When we got to the doctors we were taken to a meeting room where we were told to wait. It was square room with light grey - coloured walls and a table in the middle of it - a desk chair on one side and a soft , squishy couch on the other. The three of us sat on the couch and waited. I was still confused about why I was here. Then the doctor came in. He looked friendly with dark brown hair that looked as though he had just gotten out of bed, a bushy beard and glasses. He must've been about 50.
"Hello Mr and Mrs Ferrel and hello Jade" he said as he took a seat in the chair on the other side of the desk, "you are probably wondering why we called you in today"
"Yes" said my mum
"Well Jade's blood test results came back and.." He leaned on the desk and I could see he had a hint of sadness in his eyes , "I regret to tell you that Jade, you have cancer. But we haven't managed to diagnose it in time and I'm sorry to say that it's terminal."
That is the moment my life came crashing down around me. No one knew what to say. I was shocked at how this happened to me. I turned and looked at my parents and I could see that they were just taking it in and then it hit them. My mum started crying, I hate seeing my mum cry, and my dad was trying to comfort her but you could see the tears forming in his eyes. Then I was pulled into a tight hug by my mum, still crying. I felt as though it was my fault that my parents were crying. That it was my fault for not knowing. I don't think it had finally sunk in yet.
" I am so so sorry" said the doctor. Then he left the room to give us some privacy. That must be the worst part of his job. I felt sorry for him, for having to tell people that the were going to die. That must be hard.
My parents pulled me into another tight hug. They were holding on to me as though I was going somewhere and never coming back, which is true.
This is my story. From the day I got told I was going to die right until the very end.
A few minutes later one of the McMillan Cancer nurses came in to speak to us. That just made it seem more real. She told us her name was Jane. Plain Jane. That suits her. She was chubby with shirt blonde hair cut into a bob that ended just above her shoulders. She had rosy cheeks and a lovely white smile. She talked to us for a few minutes, explaining everything and then she told me that I could phone her at any time and speak to her about my worries. She also told me that I'd have some sessions of chemo just to keep me going for a bit. Then she left the room after she'd given me her number.
I didn't know what to do now. Do I go back to school? Go home and cry and wonder what I had done to deserve this?
I went back to school. I didn't want to sit and think about what was going to happen to me. I need to be busy and distracted. So my parents dropped me off at school. My guidance teacher had already been informed of my "situation" so that was one less thing to worry about.
As soon as I got into the school I got called up to my guidance teacher's office. I walked slowly. Counting my steps. I eventually made it up to Miss Berry's office. She greeted me as I came in and told me to sit down.
"I'm very sorry" was the first thing she said to me, placing her hand on top or mine.
"Um, thanks" I said. I didn't know what else to say - I was still in shock.
"I just want you to know that I'm hear if you want to talk about anything"
"Ok"
"Is there anything you want to talk about right now?" Yes there are things I want to talk about. I want to know why this happened to me. I want to know what to do.
"Um..I guess so" I said, " I..I'm not sure how to tell my friends"
(It's too long to put into one)