Question:
Will you please rate my short story (pt. 2)?
Katie
2010-10-28 15:53:24 UTC
“Hello? Anyone home?” I asked. But there was no response.
Sure enough, sitting on the windowsill was a freshly baked pie. I couldn’t help myself enough but to have a slice because I was so hungry. It was filled with juicy cherries that stained the white fur around my mouth. It was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted!
After I stuffed myself with more pie, I was about to leave when there was a knock on the door.
“Grandma, are you home? It’s me, little red riding hood!” said a soft and squeaky voice on the other side of the door.
What was I supposed to do? Where was I supposed to go? Panicking, I saw a spare set of clothes next to a bed. I put all of the clothes on and hopped into the bed.
“Come in darling!” I said, pretending to be the girl’s grandmother. The door opened and a little girl with blonde hair and bright blue eyes wearing a red cloak walked in.
“Granny, you don’t sound like yourself. Is everything okay?” she said.
“Oh, just a little cold I caught, but I‘m fine,” I said.
“Grandmother! What big ears you have!” she said while looking confused. “The better to hear you with!” I replied.
“But Grandmother! What big eyes you have!” the girl shouted.
“Oh just better to see you with!” I grinned, becoming more nervous.
“But grandmother! What big teeth you have!” she said frightened.
“Oh just…uh…” I stuttered. “My big teeth are for…fo-”,
She interrupted me. “You’re not my grandmother! Who are you?”
Scared I replied, “I’m… uh… A wolf.”
“What?!” she screamed at me. “Where’s my grandma? What have you done with her?”
“I didn’t do anything with her! She was never even here! I just walked in and I-”, She interrupted me again. I was starting to get annoyed with how rude she was being. “Why is your mouth all red? You didn‘t…eat her? Did you?!”, and she ran out the door screaming. “Call the police! A wolf ate my grandma!”
“But I didn’t!” I tried to scream back at her, but it was too late.
I was about to leave and try to avoid getting into a big mess, when people with pitchforks and torches started to surround the house. They were yelling and me and I didn’t know what to do!
I was afraid to go outside, so I just sat on the bed, with tears rolling down my face. I looked out the door and saw blue and red lights flashing. The police were here. Two officers marched up to the house, not even hesitating to knock, and threw open the door. “You’re coming with us, bud.” one of them said.
“But I never even did anything!” I cried to them.
“That’s not what the girl said! She said she witnessed it all, and saw you eat her grandma! So save it for the judge, pal!” they yelled at me.
The cute little girl had lied to the police about the whole thing! She never even saw half of what happened! But with no one to back up my side up the story, the officers led me to their car and drove me to jail.
So as I sit here in my jail cell, almost on my deathbed, I have finally let the truth out. What you have just read is not a lie. That is my side of the story, and it is the complete truth. That is exactly what happened that beautiful fall day.


Let me know what you think!
Three answers:
?
2010-10-28 16:07:05 UTC
Not sure what kind of rating system you are using. But if it were 1 to 10... based on your age, I would give you a 10 for creativity, 10 for grammar and spelling and 10 for just pure entertainment. You have done a wonderful job on this short story.



By the way, I am a retired teacher.
anonymous
2010-10-29 05:45:11 UTC
Awesome!

I'd give you a 9.5 because she needed more reason to dress up as the grandma than just not knowing what to do. But everything else was great!
anonymous
2010-10-28 23:04:10 UTC
that's cool. i like it.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
Loading...