I need some feedback on the beginning my story?

Question

The wedding was a good month away, and yet preparations had begun for it already.
“Bibi, look at these marigolds, you won’t find better in all Karachi—
“Oh, Mrs. Shamsi, name the color and it is yours, however you look stunning in this one right here, and it’s bringing an…an indescribable glow—
“A waterproof tent? That certainly will require more rupees,”
Flower vendors, food caterers, venue organizers—the list simply went on, the gates were left open as these people and alike bustled in and out, day and night.
Why Amirah, one of the many daughters of a wealthy businessman, wanted to marry in a bungalow in sultry Pakistan when she had glamorous London at the tip of her fingers, was beyond Zara.
She did not understand Amirah. She was very ahead of Pakistan, so far away from it, and without any second thoughts, she had chosen it as the place for possibly the biggest day of her life. Unlike Amirah, Zara could only dream of places far and beyond the borders of Karachi, Pakistan. The world far and beyond the sweeping bungalow, which seemed to get smaller and smaller the more she knew of it with each passing day. No doubt, the bungalow was certainly remarkable; with its impressive pair of wrought iron gates. A tall, sturdy wall enveloped the building, with thick green vines that clung to its creamy exterior. Upon entering, the foyer stretched to a soaring staircase twirling up to the second floor, which branched off into many bedrooms, each one roomier than the next.
Zara loved the way the stifling, humid afternoon slowly turned into a cool, breezy evening. She loved the way a single giant palm tree swayed in front of the bungalow’s wide terrace as if welcoming and bidding farewell to the many guests coming and going through the wide gates, or how the Shamsi family gathered on the lawn as the sun slowly set behind them, while they sat back in roomy lawn chairs enjoying tea. A pack of children often giggled and ran around the grass enjoying a game of kabbadi, keeping the place alive and careless of the time flying by. Or the way Danya, the bungalow’s head cook moved feverishly throughout the kitchen from morning to night, her plastic flip flops slapping against the shiny stone floor.

But none of this was hers.

Answer 1

Very interesting and entertaining. (I write myself), but I've always enjoyed others work as well than my own (but people seem to be so interested in mine as well that I don't see much reason to why it is so entertaining).

Now, for me to understand more clearly, you're going to need to give me some background information. (Unless it's a mystery). Like: Where is the story set in, what's happening, or the characters. And also, (this would help me a lot) what time era is this placed in? (I often write in different eras so when I usually read someone else's work I get confused because I'm setting my mind to one place in time and then when the writer tells me it was in a differentt era than what I was thinking I feel like a fool for not realizing it sooner).

But all in all I enjoyed the beginning. Tell hope everything else works out for this story.

P.S. I love how you give wonderful description, by the way.

Answer 2

Sounds more like a brainstorm. Make an outline of the story you want. Just write down random thoughts not caring what they are. Take a break and come back. Read over your notes and start a rough draft. Then have someone read it for you

Answer 3

hmm..mujhay pasand ayee :):D