Is my book idea "good"?

Question

Originally, I thought of this to be a short story. I thought maybe if I put enough depth within the storyline, it can pull through as a space opera science fiction novel. While the short story is rough, I've been brainstorming ideas for the novel and eventually came up with this plot line:
In this Utopian world, the fates of others are controlled by a different species of Homosapiens who believe they are superior to the contemporary human (possibly aliens); told in the perspective of a genderless but sexually desirable “Merticulite” that defines the fate of a sixteen-year-old human from Earth, the "alien" falls in love with the human girl while exploring the social dynamics of human beings and survival.

The story takes place around 650 A.F., subsequent to the time period of Huxley's "Brave New World". Humanity advanced in technology, including hypnopedia in young children (also known as "sleep learning"). But Merticulites are more accelerated than humans... Fifty years prior to the story taking place, these creatures discovered planet Earth and found pleasure to the society of humans and the diversity. With their applied science of thought reform, devices called the Mnemo (short for mnemophobia, also known as "the fear of memories") can control them. The Mnemo doesn't affect Cai for long or she can recognize the 'false' memories being placed in her head almost like dreaming. Memories are like dreams that get clearer and more formidable every day. The unnamed Merticulite sees this in his/her readings and decides to take Cai out of the usual reform process and just monitor her dreams, see what she sees. The plot is still kind of being developed, and there are quite a few plot holes to fill up. But the storyline mainly follows Meicaila "Cai", a sixteen-year-old girl trying to uncover the past world's secrets and memories with the guidance of a Merticulite (currently unnamed) who is fascinated with humans.

*Yes I posted this before but I added to it a bit.*

In the story, a Merticulite that often regulates the humans on Earth. I was inspired by The Hunger Games' Gamemakers, and how they control the surroundings in the arena. I envisioned this to be a young adult novel, considering I'm only fourteen, and I'm curious to know from other readers if this is good and how can it be improved, also how to develop a storyline. Obviously that isn't the whole plot, I'm going to add onto that in time. I need help... and honesty.

Answer 1

okay, i must say, your... thought is nice, but i got the feel that you yourself haven't actually planned it to what it is. but till here? i think it is nice. i must say, it sounds a little like warhammer 40k universe. but urm, are you planning it militaristically? if so then you have to do a lot of research. if not, then you have to have really creative ideas of technology. if not, you could just use collins' idea of advanced technology without actually mentioning it. but, if you observe, the districts are relatively poor. so any slight improvement is a major leap for them. i think you should try a little on the technology too. since the normal human girl is the same, you don't, however, have to emphasise much. then, you have to make it sure that the book does not go astray. first attempt is not always the best (no offence!) so, you have to give it a considerable thought. but, for a fourteen year old, i think you have done a good work till now..... you have to make sure that, since this is POV of the human, cai, you should make those aliens emotionless and slightly barabaric and unforgiving. also, since there are kinds already like this- the one you mentioned, hunger games, then, harry potter etc, you should do a very good job of trying to build the character up for these characters... therein lies your entire success or failure... not for publishing... for your own ability.



i know that i am being kinda naive and stupid with this super superficial comments, but, urm, hey, this one was unique from what i've read and written........

hoping i contributed to it atleast a fraction.....

Answer 2

I like the general idea a lot. However, I think it needs a little refining.



First, what's the conflict?



Does the Merticulite come to empathize with Cai to such a degree that he/she/it decides to change the system, help the humans rebel, etc?



Or does the Merticulite have some empathy/love but no desire to change things...and Cai uses his/her/its interest and empathy to start a rebellion on her own.



Is this a sci-fi book, a sort of romance, or what? Sci-fi fans aren't going to want too much mushy stuff. Romance people don't want aliens. Decide which direction you're heading, and play up those aspects more than the others.



Ditch most of the gender confusion-- otherwise you'll have to write "it" and "they" a lot, or constantly refer to proper names-- it will be confusing and hard to write. If you want, you can still say that the aliens aren't REALLY one gender or another, but at least have them be referred to by he or she.



Work on your motives. Aliens living on Earth just because they're interested in humans? Eh, not very believable. Why control ALL of them? Why stay on Earth and not take a few humans back to their home planet, where they'd be more comfortable? If the aliens' intentions are mostly curiosity (peaceful) then why control the humans at all, why not just interact with them?



What's the alien's motive for breaking the rules and keeping Meicaila to itself? If it's purely emotional/curiosity/love, you're going to have to make those scenes powerful to provide sufficient motive for him/her/it to basically betray the alien rules/society.



But wait, you said the aliens were fascinated by human society, implying that aliens don't have the same kind of love/relationships that humans do. Which is it?



What's Cai's motive for cooperating with her alien captor? If she's been escaping their memory-control, she knows they're bad or deceptive-- so what makes her want to cooperate with one?



Finally, what's the mechanism for delivering these false memories to the humans? This is going to be a huge point, because it involves:

-explaining how Cai isn't affected

-explaining why more humans AREN'T unaffected

-explaining how the aliens can easily control ALL the humans

-explaining how/why its so effective-- how do false memories provide control over a person?



Good luck!

Answer 3

Whether it ends up getting published and a raging success is secondary at this point. If you have a passion for this plot line, then go for it - the worst that happens is you'll add to your experience.



As a plot, I see nothing that would make this inferior to Hunger Games, or Harry Potter, or Twilight, or any of a number of blockbusters. The real distinction is in how the characters develop if you ask me. If you go to a site like Wattpad, you'll see hundreds of similar stories, with varying degrees of skill. There are also forums there where you can get editing, or suggestions. Or, the traditional way - join a writing group locally, and exchange ideas with others.

Answer 4

Rough, alright and needs more definition. But the idea shows promise. How about the merticulite learning human concepts like loyalty, moral righteousness, and giving more 'body' to the love felt by it-he-she for cai? Maybe, the merticulite giving some mind techniques to cai, who in turn teaches others? Then they, with the help of the merticulite, start a rebellion, which eventually free humans. Those are just my contributions. Your idea is good. Maybe you can tell me how it turns out. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Great idea, can be refined though. Could be a big hit. Delving into human nature and progressing the merticulites from emotionless removed creatures to a more involved alive race. They are progressed by the study of humans more than they could be by technology etc.

FASCINATING IDEA!!!

come up with a few drafts and email them to me at [e-mail].

I would love to see your work!

Answer 6

I think that idea is quite good, obviously needs a small amount of tweaking and the story-line is basically there, just need an end. however with this idea, you may be better of going for novella, or something along them lines.



If you need more feedback, or have any more questions please dont hesitate to PM at [e-mail].



Also I would appreciate if you could provide feedback on my story so far, via PM,wattpad or additional details - its just a prologue, it can be found at wattpad



http://www.wattpad.com/story/1284678-purification

Answer 7

Back rub, dinner, a few sexual matters (if you happen to men are as much as that step), an afternoon to do some thing he desires, one get out of prison loose card (if he does anything dull that's minor) and so forth.