dose this sound like a good begining to a book?

Question

"Come on J just a few more then were done." K whispered to her younger brother.
"Okay." J shuffled his feet to were an old lady who sat smiling at the little boy who sat net to her. He had light blonde hair and green eyes.
J lifted the basked for money to the lady. She frowned and pursed her lips. The old woman took out ten dollars and put it in the basket. J smiled. "Thank you granny." She ruffled his hair and got off the train at the next stop.
J and K continued until around midnight and went to the house.
"How much money?" An old deep voice demanded as they walked in.
K flinched. "Twenty-three dollars and forty two cents." K said remembering what the train lady said.
"Only Twenty-three dollars?" He stood up abruptly and stormed over.
"You were suppose to get forty!" He swung his right fist at K. The mans fist hit K on the right and sent her flying.
"Stop hurting K please." J pleaded.
"Shut up!" The man raised his fist and swung.
Wack! K was hit again because he threw herself in front of J.
The man kicked K. "Do you even realize who i am?" He asked "I am the great Child Keeper Thoamas."








The plan is that J dies and he gets kidnapped and has to pretend to be a boy or something like that

Answer 1

Theres not really much of a description to know what is going on, very amateur writing. A decent concept but why are you using letters instead of names, i found this hard to follow, plus the begining, this kind of book it is good to start right in the middle of something, i am assuming this is dystopian so maybe give a little info WHY they need that money, overall i found it kind of confusing, it could definetly use some work

Answer 2

under no circumstances ever in the completed huge global! purely bypass over RS totally. that is ridiculously overpriced, overvalued and overhyped. All it does is make you repeat life like concerns like a parrot, no longer some thing else. No context-universal studying, no innovations, no grammar educating, no communication, no no longer some thing. funds-in for fairly no longer some thing, because this may under no circumstances ever be powerfuble to replace fairly face-to-face language courses nor diverse "classic" language studying techniques, nor make each person fluent in any language, enable through myself carry close one. Please keep reliable sparkling of those form of "gimmicks"!

Answer 3

I don't know, it sounds pretty perverted.