is this story good so far?

Question

The White Lotus
Quick footsteps pattered on the ground a boy was running with the agility of a jungle cat he leaped high into a tree and waited. This boy’s name is jet and jet had a secret a powerful secret that he has yet to discover these abilities jet could sprout marvelous golden brown wings at his command he was a Shensi and he was alone.
Chapter 1: Rose
Soon a caravan pounded out of the forest with a devilish grin he leaped onto the caravan when the caravan stopped he saw to bandits emerge he withdrew his sigendews and when one bandit had his back turned he struck he soared of the caravan and right onto the bandit smashing his head oh a rock the other bandit whirled around and jet landed a perfect strike to the man’s temple rendering him unconscious

Answer 1

It flows really well, but I think you need to clarify your sentencing. Read it out loud, and find the places where a pause for tension, or a stop is needed, and use a comma or full-stop accordingly. Good luck with the rest of the story; hope it all works out well!

Answer 2

You are in desperate need of punctuation. Periods and commas are your friend. You also seem to be rushing through your story. Fast paced is usually preferable, but you are going through your story at lightning speed, leaving little room for detail.

Answer 3

no offense but the whole super power bull is getting old. really. golden wingz. the name is jet.... sounds like a 7 year old with godly vocab

Answer 4

The story is good. But you need spell check ..

Answer 5

interesting, yes. well written, no. you need to learn how to use a comma.

Answer 6

i couldn't read half of it.

mostly cause of the names. sorry