So my teacher told me that essay questions were my biggest weakness. Is this one okay?(It's short)?

Question

I was told essay questions is my weakness and is hurting my grade, so I'm really trying hard on them. What do you think of this one?
And I typed it really fast, so there are probably a few typos.

The question is, in simpler terms, ''how does nature make you feel?'

Nature is amazing because it never changes and will never change. When I'm in the presence of nature, I feel extremely insignificant. Knowing that hundreds of years ago, people were seeing what I see makes me and my life seem so small. One thing nature has taught me is that there are much more important things than me. My life is just a tiny dot on a neverending timeline of trillions(for lack of a bigger number) of tiny dots. Most importantly, nature's taught me, through these things, to enjoy life while I have it.

Answer 1

Your first sentence makes a statement that is contradicted by everybody's personal experience. We all observe nature changing all the time. Storms and earthquakes bring sudden, dramatic change, and we encounter any number of smaller, more gradual changes. The tide moves in and out at the beach. The moon is a different shape in the sky every night. Trees and bushes are covered with blossoms in the spring, green leaves and ripening fruit in the summer, and multi-colored leaves in the fall. So your essay is off to a bad start with a sweeping generalization that doesn't stand up to scrutiny.



Another shortcoming is that there's absolutely no way of telling from your essay what nature is. You could substitute the word "magic" or "truth" or "chocolate" for the word "nature" all through your essay without significantly changing its meaning. If you're going to claim that something is "amazing," makes you feel "insignificant," and teaches you "to enjoy life while I have it," you'd better be sure to give your readers a clear picture of what that amazing thing is. What does it looks like, sound like, feel like, smell like, taste like? What are some of the specific five-senses experiences you have had "in the presence of nature"? You TELL your readers that you see things other people saw hundreds of years ago. but you don't SHOW your readers anything. You don't give any concrete examples of the things you've seen -- let alone things you've heard, smelled, etc.



You can improve your essays by using specific details to support your generalizations, and by using descriptions that involve as many of the five senses as possible.

Answer 2

You have the most important element in hand - you actually answer the question. Here are some suggestions to keep in mind when answering essay questions. Avoid sweeping generalizations. Watch out for words like "always, never, all, none, no one, everybody," and so on. This prompts the reader to stop reading and start thinking about exceptions to whatever it is you are saying. Watch out for adverbs. They weaken the writing. "I feel insignificant" is a better sentence than "I feel extremely insignificant." Watch out for parenthetical expressions. Avoid contractions in formal writing.



Read good prose. Read, read, read. You wouldn't expect to learn a musical instrument without listening to good music, and the same is true for writing. I recommend Stewart O'Nan because he doesn't have a single superfluous word. His prose sparkles. The reader doesn't notice it because of being caught up in the story, but the writing is excellent. Read with a critical mind. Notice how writers shape a sentence, a paragraph, a chapter. Read classic writers such as Emerson and Montaigne. Their essays have endured long after their deaths because of the quality of the writing.



Good luck. People who enjoy reading and writing have an advantage and skill that will be of benefit no matter what life choices are made.

Answer 3

Your thoughts are really beautiful. The main problem you have is punctuation, and grammatical errors.



One other thing I might add is that you should have taken out the trillions and added billions instead. Then you would not have had to add an unnecessary bracket that takes away from the paragraph.



The more books that you read that better your writing will become. You will naturally adhere to proper grammar, punctuation and well put together sentences. You have a few run on sentences and unnecessary terms. "Nature is amazing because it never changes and will never change." First off- nature is ALWAYS changing. (Perhaps you need some more research)? However, if you were to use that sentence; I would have taken out the 'and will never change' part.



You should read much, much more. It will help, because I see grand potential. Let me know how you make out.

Answer 4

Nature by no ability ameliorations? sure it does! continuously! additionally, you're constantly interior the presence of nature. different than that, i think of you ought to tweak some issues to make it pass greater helpful. as an occasion, the 'for loss of a much bigger extensive style' is especially pointless. All you ought to declare is 'a tiny dot in a timeline of by no ability ending dots'. some punctuation issues additionally. once you write something look on the commas and learn if it would artwork without them. Your final sentence might artwork completely with none commas. bear in mind that when examining human beings take a small pause at a comma. So, your final sentence reads as; 'maximum severely..... Nature's taught me....... by way of those issues....... to relish life on a similar time as I even have it'