what do you think of the story i'm writing?

Question

and if you have some tips and feedback for me i would really appreciate it =D

summary
In this world some of us are born with great powers, we call them lapotin.
Once there was a lapotin who used his powers to make people obey him and tried to dominate the world.
And so hunters were created and the killed the evil lapotin.
But when a lapotin dies his powers search for a new host and a new lapotin is created.
Even now in this time, the hunting continues as the chain of lapotin is not been broken yet.

Answer 1

The stoy line.. is great.. but start it with a goo dintro I mean.. you can.. make out a whole setting to it first.

for eg : In this world are born two kinds.. One evolves for another.. and both seek power.. either for desctruction.. either to protect... this is from a story I wrote... it sort of matched yours so I thought of telling you this for you to improve your story coz.. it sounds really interesting.. bt change 'hunters' put sumthin like 'slayers' from my story but to match 'lapotin' ( i dnt like da name personally bt its ur work naming..) u can use 'leopards' for 'hunters' so it wud b 'lapotin' and 'leopards' Its like da organization called 'Gurrillaz' or wateva..



Or and in your story its not 'one evolves for another' its 'one evolves after one is born' u can construct ur story.. Improve it.. IIt'll really sound interesting.. By far I like it...

Answer 2

I like it!



Its really different, so keep writing!!

Yeah, I'm not a fan of the word lapotin either,

Perhaps do some research of early languages and see what evil translates too, you'll find something cool I'm sure,



Good luck with you writing!

Answer mine?

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20110820172421AARSPd7

Answer 3

sounds good yea, not really a fan of the word lapotin though sounds a bit weird.

btw who where the hunters created by?

but sounds good, keep up the good work =)

Answer 4

It's pretty nice!(:



But if that is the ACTUAL blurb, you should try a little bit of showing instead of telling.

Describe before just bluntly stating!(:

Answer 5

ddddd