Maggie followed her parents who seemed all too delighted to leave the doctor’s office. After they left the glass double doors at the front of the building, the three of them were greeted by a crisp breeze that rattled the yellow, orange, and brown leaves hanging by threads from the branches overhead. There were also many of them scattered over the empty drive. Some leaves were in small piles, suggesting that someone probably tried at a futile attempt to tame them. They’d only stay for a moment until the wind picked up again, kicking them up into another mess. Each of Maggie’s footsteps was accompanied by a loud crunch as she walked with her parents down the drive and toward the main street. She found herself clinging tightly to her father’s arm as her eyes would shift from left to right, surveying the houses that they’d passed. She didn’t know if her parents had noticed it, and if they did, they were doing a splendid job at not showing it, but the one thing about Headland Township that kept Maggie on her toes were the residents she shared it with. Except to buy groceries or pick up refills on their prescriptions, her neighbors rarely ever stepped out of their houses. Despite that, it seemed that everyone in the town knew what their neighbors were up to, except Maggie, who could spend hours wondering about her neighbors’ lives. She’d been raised in Headland all her life and still, the only thing she knew about its residents was that they didn’t like ‘outsiders’ and outsiders didn’t like them. When she was young, Maggie would curbside in front of her house on the main street and watch cars go by. The cars of people passing through Headland to get to the city on the other side were always fancy ones, not like the rusted, powder blue pick-up truck her father drove to work. The cars of the city dwellers would never slow down when driving past. In fact, they would usually race through as fast as the speed limit would allow. Occasionally, she would find a few younger drivers bring their cars to a steady crawl as they peered out their windows to observe the dainty houses with their A-roofs, flower boxes, and timber picket fences. A chill would wrack their bodies as they noticed the town seemed a bit too perfect. Then, more often than not, the driver’s eyes would meet with Maggie’s in mutual discomfort before they would press into the gas pedal and haul tail out of there. Even now, several years later, anyone passing through Headland would still follow the same pattern, only Maggie no longer wished to sit and watch.
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I was told previously that my stories tend to be a little too description-heavy and take away from the actual plot, so I tried to keep in mind to take it easy on the descriptions and leave some things up to the readers' imaginations. Please tell me how I did.
Also, please give feedback I can use. Things like "Wow this is so good keep writing" are flattering and I'm grateful, but I need to know what I did well and what I can work on to make better. Thank you!