Question:
Query letter questions?
Niki
2011-05-27 03:10:21 UTC
Here's a question, and I think this is a question that lots of people have considered in the past.

How do you describe a character in a query letter?

Literary agents always say "show" how your MC is in the query. I've already got that (my MC described). Now I'm trying to describe another character, the MC's sidekick. This is how I describe him, but it's "telling." What do you think?
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Then she meets San. Dark, sarcastic, and a cross between manly and a sissy.
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Okay first--did that sound lame and obtuse or did that get your attention? (You have to remember, literary agents read hundreds of letter a day, so I want something catchy.) And did the sentence structure sound all right or does it need rearranging?

I "show" the MC's personality. But when talking about other characters, can I just "tell" about them so I won't take up too much space in the query?
Five answers:
?
2011-06-01 13:43:02 UTC
No no no. Don't "show" the character in terms of writing out a character synopsis like an excerpt from your story. You're supposed to tell rather than show. And believe it or not, agents like formality so long as you "personalize" it with a humble yet professional tone (don't address it to "Dear Agent" for instance but to the agent's name directly).



What they mean by showing is that they don't want you to strictly talk about the plot and mention only that the "hero" or "heroine" is involved. They want you to immediately introduce your character by name, tell who he/she is in as few words as possible (they appreciate writers who can limit their thoughts to a few words-shows word-smithing and efficiency skill), tell what happens to him/her (which should be the initial conflict of the novel), and describe one or two choices the character makes (and the consequences), to give the agent a well rounded summary of what this story is all about. Basically, it should read something like the book's synopsis that is printed on the back cover of the book.



By the way, the way you describe San is exactly how you do it. You tell it in a sort of cinematic way. And if San isn't a major contributor to the story then leave him out and simply state that the character sifts through relationships on her way to completing her goal (this is vague since I don't know your story plot line but you get the idea).



And by the way, literary agents don't read hundreds of query letters a day. Publishers and editors do. Popular literary agents may receive this amount but most don't. They are middlemen and new writers often try to solicit publishers directly, without so much as looking up a literary agent to help them query a publisher.



If you want something catchy then don't embellish your query letter. They like *SHORT* letters that get straight to the point, that have a humble tone, that answer all of their questions/guidelines, that are professionally written with no basic spelling/grammar/typo errors, and that demonstrate that the writer has an understanding of the book selling industry. If you write that "it's the next block buster hit/best seller" then they're going to scoff at you (especially if they're the NYcity big wigs), and they'll look for reasons to disagree.



So just follow the guidelines, include only what they asked for, keep it short, don't come across as egotistical and over sure of your success and you should be fine. Good luck with it.
ϕ-ɉʋɳǝƄʋg-ϕ iɳsiᵭǝ yoʋr ɱiɳᵭ
2011-05-27 07:41:46 UTC
In a good query letter, you don't have time to get into the characters' personalities much. You're supposed to outline the story in a few sentences and make the agent want to know more. Just tell what the story is about and why you're the best person to write it.
Joss
2011-05-27 16:50:30 UTC
I wouldn't bother with describing secondary characters in the query. Yes, as the literary agent said, you need to do more showing in queries than telling. Ask yourself if the agent really needs to know this information about stan in the query. Otherwise, she can learn about who he is if she reads the full. Yes, show who your *MC* is in the query. I wouldn't go into details about the secondary characters... The query is about your MC and his plight and what's at stake for him. It's not about your secondary characters. I'm not saying don't mention a secondary character, but I don't see why you need to mention details about him/her.



But, it always depends on how your query reads. Just remember that your main goal is to entice an agent to read your manuscript. No query letter is perfect and agents don't expect perfection, but there is definitely a wrong way to write queries. - not saying yours is a wrong way, just saying to keep in mind that your main goal is to entice them to read and to show them that you can actually write. If your query is all telling then that might be a clue that your manuscript is all telling. You see?
Sarah
2011-05-27 03:46:21 UTC
I don't think "show not tell" applies to query letters, I think what you've misinterpreted is that you need to make the personality of your MCs clear in your query, and how they works in the context of your story.



I'm sure you could talk about how Sam develops in the story to overcome his personal barriers and turns cowardice into bravery as the story progresses, rather than calling him half manly, half sissy.
?
2016-10-02 12:12:22 UTC
once I deliver out queries, the "synopsis" of the unconventional is the comparable each and every time, however the encompassing information is catered to each and each agent. i attempt to be sure in the event that they choose me to leap appropriate into the pitch, or if I could initiate with how i stumbled on their call and why they might have an interest contained in the unconventional. this style of learn is mandatory and it makes you stand out appropriate away as somebody who has performed their homework. yet specific, you're actually not writing a clean synopsis and question for each agent. maximum suitable of success! desire you hit upon an agent :D


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