SYNTAX PLEASE HELP ME?

Question

Evening Hawk by Robert Penn Warren:

From plane of light to plane, wings dipping through
Geometries and orchids that the sunset builds,
Out of the peak's black angularity of shadow, riding
The last tumultuous avalanche of
Light above pines and the guttural gorge,
The hawk comes.
His wing
Scythes down another day, his motion
Is that of the honed steel-edge, we hear
The crashless fall of stalks of Time.

The head of each stalk is heavy with the gold of our error.

Look! Look! he is climbing the last light
Who knows neither Time nor error, and under
Whose eye, unforgiving, the world, unforgiven, swings
Into shadow.

Long now,
The last thrush is still, the last bat
Now cruises in his sharp hieroglyphics. His wisdom
Is ancient, too, and immense. The star
Is steady, like Plato, over the mountain.

If there were no wind we might, we think, hear
The earth grind on its axis, or history
Drip in darkness like a leaking pipe in the cellar.




is there anything on syntax that is important or just anything to say about the format of the poem? i know that one line that is by itself is important but why??

please please help me im stuck on this and i don't understand.

Answer 1

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syntax

I looked around Wiki and various links found there (all blue words are links as are numbers. I looked also at 'References' and under the heading 'External Links'--the latter leads to corroboration) definitions of syntax, traditional and nontraditional.



The nontraditional syntax used in this poem is best seen in the first sentence.

Traditional syntax would read: "The hawk comes..." then the description.

Noun, verb, description.

Here, traditional syntax is reversed.



We see description (good, too) of a 'thing' we don't know until the sixth line.

This leaves imagination open to a wide variety of ideas while reading this sentence.

Writing this way the poet allows the reader to think of airplanes, sunlight, storms, dark vs. light, time: many things.

In turn, "the hawk" becomes representative of more than a bird.

So does "the last thrush" ["...is still"] and "the last bat" ["...cruis(ing) in his sharp hieroglyphics..." (sonar) and more].



"Time" is referred to often, first as "light" then as a flower with a "stalk" (a word that can also be a verb) falling, but also as it actually is: history, unchanging, marked by the errors of people yet continuiing even as it falls (stalks) into history.

The unusual syntax most apparent in the first sentence lets a reader picture "Time" (among anything else a reader thinks) and how "the hawk" treats it.

I would call this an perhaps an anti-war poem, definitely a comment on history in general.

I like it.

If you need to pinpoint syntax, try the link above and filter through things found there until you find what you may need.

Best of luck with all.



ADD: I realize you are NOT the author here.

Answer 2

practicality:



read you poem aloud. Think about its musicality.

Does it have a pattern?

To begin with, count your syllables and make sure that each line

follows the same or at least some sort of syllable pattern.



Your first line is definitely too long and horribly messy.

Think about how a hawk flies and how you imagine it would flap its wings and land and take off.

put this this beating of wings and mechanical movements into words and read them aloud.



about your subject matter. You are really all over the place!

Try and think about the hawk, find out practical things about it before writing.

is this hawk a personification of something else?

Use one or two metaphoric comparisons not a dozen!

You have a lot to fix up, but one or 2 nice ideas coming through.

All I can say is read more poetry, that will help you write better.

I go through at least 5 books a week - and good ones, not the flimsy shite that most people read.



All great poetry has thought, structure etc behind it. Go and get a poetry guide out of the library and read about all the tools you'll be needing.

Answer 3

Robert Penn Warren Evening Hawk

Answer 4

nice one.

This is maybe a bit cheezy, but the rhythms of the phrases (and line breaks) seem to be broken up to somewhat mimic the flight patterns of a hawk... some long smooth phrases, some sudden sharp changes... etc.

Answer 5

syntax help u for yr poem to flow correctly,and know that every sentence hold the important meaning by itself be careful