Question:
What do you think of my writing?
DoneWithNatural
2011-12-21 18:03:19 UTC
Just tell me what you think, be harsh :)

Closing the list of uses the boy could satisfy, James tenderly slipped his hands behind Peter, and picked him up. Laying him across the couch, the boy fit perfectly. Taking the blanket he had set aside, James began wrapping it around the lad. Looking down at Peter now, the boy looked, honestly, rather pitiful. His face was a mess of crusted blood and dirt. Clothes, torn and muddy, his feet were bare, and Peter’s whole body shook as if in a nightmare. His un-kept dark brown hair was sticking in all directions, which gave him a relatively comical appearance. When Peter had looked at James before passing out, the boy’s eyes were wide, but not fearful. Instead, they were innocent, frustrated, and sad. So very sad. Yet, the emotion was not what caught James’ attention. The color was what amazed James, for he had never seen eyes so dark. Perhaps it was just the eyebrows that added to the darkness, but still, they were very…remarkable.
Five answers:
2011-12-21 18:06:01 UTC
This is really amazing, please get this published....I will read it!
SIMON P
2011-12-22 02:06:18 UTC
Interesting..
2011-12-22 02:06:13 UTC
I HATE THIS, IT IS AWFUL.

JK JK

just try to use more accurate adj. plz

example: "the boy fit perfectly" could be "the boy fit snugly"
Jerod
2011-12-22 02:47:45 UTC
I like it. :)
Pisarini
2011-12-22 02:06:32 UTC
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........|..........2 points ..........|||"|""\__

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